Chasing my Fantasy, that was i feel when i was starting to like Jun maybe it wasn't a real love like wat i feel before to Ricky and Jan, is kind of infatuation siguro i have a crush on him, i like or maybe i just see him the man that i want to have some day but i know Jun is not for me. WHY? because he is not ready to have a relationship, and maybe he is not a kind or type of guy na in our ages magmamahal to his opposite sex. I know it kasi this fast few weeks nakakapgusap kami, nagkukuwentuhan and habang tumatagal nakikilala ko sya bilang isang matatag na tao. maybe he is too matured than his ages kasi kahit na matanda sya sakin ng three years i feel na hindi sya yung tipo ng ordinaryong lalake na nakapaligid sakin. ( wow magulo ba ) well i explain to you. Kasi like other guy na kasing idad q they enjoy of being youth kahit na mga nanliligaw na at nagkakaroon na ng relationship kahit hindi serious they just enjoy of being youth. Naglalaro parin ng tumbang preso, maawat taya at habulan. But unlike Jun, he didn’t thinking about love, about relationship to someone ang mahalaga sa kanya makapagtapos ng pagaaral and makutong sa mga magulang nia na nasa probinsya. Una nagulat aq dahil in his ages, as 15 year old guy parang lahat ng yun iniisip ng mga taong nasa twenties na hindi ng katulad naming edad ( hello elementary palang kaya kami ) maybe we thinking of that pero kapag kinakailangan lang sagutin like kapag tinatanong kami ng teacher namin if what we want to do after 10 to 15 years or maybe kapag sumasagot kami sa autographs ng mga classmate namin kung ano ang ambition namin or dream, but Jun hindi. He want to proved, to do and i know he can do na balang araw matutupad lahat ng pangarap nia. Ni minsan he never say na ito ang gusto ko, ganito ang gusto ko, kundi he always say "darating ang panahon matutupad ko ang lahat ng pangarap ng mga nanay ko sakin" (wow ang lalim nia right) and believe me or not maslolo ko syang hinangaan because of that. Now i know kung bakit nung unang araw q syang makita he get my attention. Because he was the person na magtuturo sakin na muling mangarap after i stop dreaming since my father was died. Ewan q pero imbis na ipakita ko at ipadama kay Jun at i like him i just decided na mas kailangan ko yung itago dahil sa mga nalaman ko dahil i dont want to be the reason para masira yung mga pangarap niang yun. And i just afraid na lumayo si Jun sakin just in case he know what i feel to for him dahil alam ko yung mga lalakeng katulad nia they didn’t want na sila ang nililigawan they‘re ego is like a high as mount Everest .
Then I decided to keep my feeling in myself. Of course my girls tropa know about that pera lang yung mga lalake eh mas mga tsismoso pa samin yung mga yun kaya unta kong ipaalam sa kanila lalo na kay Bogs ang daldal ka ya nun. But I was happy sa ganitong sitwasyon, Mas mabuti yung walng conflict. and speaking of conflict you know ba na may conflict daw sa pagitan nina Rosalio at Timothy. Kasi naman itong si timotheo nagseselos daw kay Salio ( I just give him a pet name para kasing pangbabae yung Rosalio) dahil lagi daw kaming nakikitang naguusap at nagtatawanan. Well what’s wrong with that alang namang hindi kami magpansinan. e kaya naman pala itong si Salio gingalit si Timothy na crush daw nia ko kaya lalong nagselos si Timothy. Kaya nagulat aq when Gracita (gf ni Dodie) asked me if nanliligaw sakin si Salio. And I said a big "NO" dahil hindi naman talaga. We just a friend, a bit of closed friend. Ayon pala talagang may planong manligaw sakin si Salio dahil one day he asked me if boyfriend ko daw yung lagi kong kausap sa labas ng room namin kapag break time at uwian. (hmp sino ba yun) when I saw kung sino yung tinuturo nia na kanina pa daw nakatingin saming dalawa ( dahil nasa ground kami at kitang-kita kami ni Jun sa taas ng building namin sa room) I was shock I thinking na ganun ba q ka-transparent to what I feel to Jun o magaling lang magbasa ng kilos si Salio. Pero nakahinga aq ng sabihin niyang masama daw kasi ang titig sa kanya ni Jun kanina pa at he (SALIO) always see us na magkausap nga sa tapat ng room namin. before I was collapse sa mga sinasabi ni Salio pinagtawanan ko na sya kahit kunwari lang yung tawa ko para maitago lang kung kabang nararamdaman ko that time. Para kasi aqng sasabok sa mga sinasabi ni Salio at sa nakikita q sa mata ni Jun. I told to Salio na hindi q bf si Jun at kaya lang kami magkausap lagi is just parang kami were a closed friend. Akala daw nia wala na syang pag-asa ( patay eto na nga po) he confirm na totoo ang mga sinasabi ni Gracita sakin last day. But I don’t want to give him a false hope like timothy I don’t want to be a heartbreaker hindi dahil I have a feeling for Jun is just that I decided na hindi muna aq papasok sa isang relasyon until I was ready again. Sabi nia hindi naman daw sya nagmamadali just let him na ligawan nia q at iparamdam na mahal nia ko ( o god galley wow si Raphonceil na ba ang haba ng buhok q) kaya wala aqng nagawa. Buti nalang nagumpisa na yung practise because I don’t know what I say.
to be continue.......
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