Tuesday, February 5, 2008

letting go... by LOVE


"You have to let him go... if you really love him, set him free.That's what true love is, setting someone you love free just to see him happy..." But how? Letting go was never easy! It's like forcing yourself to do something you didn't want. It hurts every time we try and all the crying and endless nights makes it a lot harder. It's like living without air, existing without life. It feels like a long journey where we kept on walking without any destination because we don't have any arms to belong to... Yes, it's difficult especially in the beginning. That's when you'll experience the pain and loneliness of having no arms to hold you tight, no lips to kiss you goodnight, no smile to make your days bright, and no heart for you to love and to feel loved. Sure, it does help to cry. It would help ease the burden for a while but inthe end, we'll just hurt ourselves even more. Furthermore, we'll find out that our lives are already ruined, our dreams more shattered. It would be more difficult for us to start again because we don't even know where to find the broken pieces of our heart. Heeding the saying "Fight for what you feel" may make us feel right at the moment, giving us new hope and telling us "Never give up". We won't stop till we almost done everything just to win him back. Giving him our all, our everything, and again our fragile heart that took us a long time to mend. We offered our time, our efforts, and our precious tears to make him Fall Hard again. Yet, inthe end, we find ourselves defeated, for all our efforts are thrown to waste. We'll be hopeless and helpless than ever because we knew there's nothing more that we could do. Old habits are back - crying yourself asleep, endless nights thinking of him, mourning over happy and sad memories. Worse, our life and hearts were nowhere to find for it was broken apart into million of pieces. The pain was all over again, consuming everything that we have, telling us to give up on life. Now, it would be much harder and painful to put the pieces back into their rightful places because we already gave everything until none was left for us to plant the new seed of start... Then slowly, darkness fills our soul. We wish that all these pains and agonies are just a part of some nightmare where we want to wake up already. But no matter how hard we try to open our eyes, we could see nothing but dark clouds telling us..."give up! There's no use fighting. You don't have a life anymore because he has deserted you... your very breath was taken away from you... so rest here in this cold dark place and no one shall ever hurt you again..." the deep voice was so inviting, the words are so attracting. But when we are about to let go of our last thin thread, a shining light comes and a voice from within echoes through our mind, "Don't give up! There will always be hope, you still have a life and a tomorrow waiting for you. You own your life and the air you breathe is a gift for you. Staying here would only hurt you... and double your pain." Yet the big question is. "Where Do We Start?" First, we must find the broken pieces of our life and try our very best to put them back together. There may be some instances where we can't find some missing pieces in our life which makes it harder for us to accept that our life is not complete. But we must always remember that the missing parts will be picked by worthy people and soon they will come in our lives, putting the missing pieces back into our lives making it more complete together with new meaning. Most of us say that to let him go isn't easy. But no, it wasn't "letting him go" that is difficult but the "letting ourselves go". That, is painful. It is setting our hearts free from the golden cage of love that is difficult. It's because we could never let go of someone gone long ago and was never ours. It's like a lonely nightingale left in an open cage, eagerly waiting for its love to come back. Singing sad memories of love until the time the other nightingale joins with its singing. She never went out the cage because of the endless anticipation that its most loved nightingale will return. Are we like the nightingale wasting its whole life waiting for the other nightingale, which has no intention of coming back? Remember, it is OURSELVES that we have to let go, it is OUR HEART that we have to set free. The door of the Golden cage of love is open, waiting for us to have the courage to fly away and enjoy the beauty outside it. The decision is yours, whether to stay in the cage all your life waiting for your love to come back or to be free by spreading your wings away from the cage and fly magnificently once more... one more time...

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